Brett Deadly 
Thanks for taking some time to be interviewed for Trap Metal Arsenal. Can you please introduce yourself and tell our readers your name, and your main genre? For those of us who don’t already know.
Hey everyone, I’m n0trixx, I am one of the few female self-produced artists in the trap metal genre. I scream, I spit sick bars and I make heavy beats!
When, where, and how did your journey in music start? And what influenced you into the darker more heavy side of music?
It’s a bit complicated… Music is part of what I am but what I am is part of a two-identity DID system. That is, when I was a teenager, my mind split into two parts because of being unable to deal with trauma. All the negative emotions that were not allowed to be processed, were stored in a separate part of the brain. That separate part of the brain is me, the person behind n0trixx. I’ve been making music all the time I’ve been allowed to exist and be in control of this body. I’ve always been leaning towards heavy and dark genres because that’s the only way I can express what’s inside this part of the brain.
What a way to cope with your traumas. Im glad you found a productive outlet to do something constructive with your pain. Does this also have something to do with your mask?
Yeah, it may be hard to believe but my other self is the furthest it can get from an artistic person. She is a very down-to-earth, ordinary woman who‘s had a very successful career in investment banking and a family. The complete switch of control that happened between us was very unexpected. And I don’t know if and when there could be a reverse switch. She is still able to influence what I do. And there are things I’m not allowed to do- disclose my identity, do anything that she would be ashamed of (if ever someone found out about this), get tattoos or damage my body in any possible way, etc. So as a way to hide my identity, I decided to scratch my face out in pictures and then I made this mask – which looks a bit like those scratches – for my live performances.
I heard you got into a little bit of trouble with the authorities back in your home country. Can you tell us anything about that?
I wouldn’t call it a little bit of trouble… I’m from Russia and when the war against Ukraine started I couldn’t keep silent. I protested, got arrested and prosecuted and when I faced the fact that any repeated violation would get me in jail I fled. After that I released a song and a music video with real-life footage called “FUCK WAR” after which I definitely cannot go back. Now even though I’m a dissident in my own country, I got multiple visa declines from the Western countries (some of them even said I should go back to Russia to apply for a visa even though I provided evidence of being publicly prosecuted for my anti-war position). This is very challenging for me as a musician as my audience is primarily based in the US and the UK and I can’t perform in these countries because of the visa issues. But despite all the hardships that I’ve been through over the past year, I know I’ve done the right thing and I won’t stop raising my voice against the war.
That is brutal. And my full respect and appreciation go out to you. You are correct in your decisions. This is a horrible war and feels unnecessary. It also makes me feel frustrated because I’ve been seeing this my whole life. My Grandfather and a large portion of his family have been banned from Western countries since the fall of the Former Soviet Union and it really doesn’t make any sense at all. That was such a long time ago and my grandpa died never being able to come visit me and see his grandchildren. To hear the same thing is happening to this day is just so frustrating. It seems like anytime someone stands and tries to do the right thing, they get punished. I hate to see it. Where are you now? And what are your plans for the rest of this year and next year?
That’s so frustrating. The world is really hypocritical and hardly ever fair to people who are making an effort to make it better. But hey, it takes sacrifice to make big changes, so I’ve learned to ignore the unfair treatment and just keep going.
I’m now residing in Turkey and am trying my best to start performing here – the local trap metal scene is at its nascent stage but there are a few interesting acts to work with and I’m trying to set up some shows for later this year. I’m also not giving up on performing abroad, I’ve just made my 6th attempt to get a visa – this time to be able to perform in London on June 15th (not sure when this goes to print so I might have to get this updated!). At the same time, I’m working on getting recognition as an established international artist. My second EP which is due to drop in September will be another step towards making n0trixx impossible to ignore. All my creations are thought through to the tiniest detail. Every sample that I use, every word that I write, every cover art that I design, and every video that I make all have meaning. The n0trixx project is art, and art should have no boundaries.
And a personal thank you Brett for your understanding and sympathy, I’m sorry that this affected your family too 🙁 things like these shouldn’t happen:(
No problem 🙂 So you produce and do videography as well! What is your process like? Do you have any rituals before you go into a session?
Literally, the first thing I did after the switch happened three years ago was write my first song in the notes on my phone and the next day install Ableton – and music production has been my passion ever since. And my process is still the same: most of the time I write lyrics first and then make beats to them. But after I launched the n0trixx project I realised that being a musician is not only about music. It makes me really happy how my workflow these days involves so many creative processes. When I’m tired of songwriting, I switch to beats, when I’m tired of beats, I do singing, when I’m tired of music-making, I spend my days with a tripod scouting abandoned buildings or beautiful landmarks and taking pictures and videos, which is an extremely exciting part of my job! And when I’m tired of absolutely everything I go on YouTube or buy a course to further learn any of these crafts – and that gets me inspired again!
Brilliant! If you could go on tour with anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would be on the bill with you?
I can’t choose between KoЯn and Slipknot! Both shaped my music taste and influenced me greatly and either of them would be a thrill to tour with!
What are your plans for the future? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What’s your end game?
I’m not chasing fame and fortune here, if that were what I was after I would have done better keeping my other self’s job in investment banking. She even made it to the TV. Although optically my goals lie along the same lines: I need to get my music to pay my bills and I need to get heard. The former is pretty self-explanatory, I devote all of my time to this project and it won’t be sustainable if it doesn’t pay off. The first time when I thought I’d want to be a musician was the same day when my identity split happened. My father died and I spent the whole day listening to one Linkin Park song on repeat, it helped me cope with my grief. That’s when I thought “I want to do the same, to help people cope with their emotions with my music”. Years passed, and there’s so much more I can share with the world: raising awareness about dissociative identity disorder, normalizing neurodiversity, being badass and straight edge at the same time 😁 and lots more. That’s why I’m so active writing posts on my Instagram – it’s one of the ways for me to share my values with my audience. And so, the more people can hear my message, the more people I can help with my music and activism. The plans for the nearest future are releasing my second EP this autumn, setting up more gigs this year, in Turkey and in the UK for now. And working towards being able to tour the world one day!
What advice do you have for new aspiring artists trying to break out into the industry?
Don’t give up on your dream even if it sometimes feels like you’re not good enough. We all get that feeling sometimes and it’s normal, and in this industry, success is only achieved by those who don’t give up at those low points. But also don’t just assume that the world is all out there waiting to hear your music. When you’re only starting, it’s a tough job convincing people to stream your music and support your project. Don’t ruin it for yourself by thinking that everyone owes you support just cuz you’re cool, be nice to people and they will want to stick with you.
As we wrap this up is there anything else you would like our readers to know? And thank you for your time!
I know a lot of my audience is struggling with their mental health. If you’re reading this and you’re struggling too, please keep going you are loved and you are important even if it doesn’t feel like it. Thank you Brett the pleasure is mine, I really enjoyed this interview!
